Is Life Even Worth Living?

"Is life even worth living?"

People usually only ask this question when they're suicidal. Well, I'm not cause I need to take care of my mom. But...other than that, I don't see the point in living. I have this iPhone app called Happiness. I'm glad I downloaded it cause when I am at an all time low, it tells me things to cheer me up. I shall go and click on it now. This is what it says:

"Smile and laugh more often. It will preserve your youthfulness and keep the wrinkles away."

Good advice but I gotta ask myself...smile at what? Smile at who?

Everytime my mom opens her mouth, I get pissed off. I have been raging at her the whole day when it's not even her fault. It's not her fault that I feel pathetic. That I have no friends. That people outside don't care about me. SHE does and yet I give HER trouble. I give her the cold treatment. I vent my frustrations on my poor and innocent mom. What for?

My youthfulness was gone a long time ago. Gone with the wind. My dad's misbehavior and my love not being reciprocated in secondary school sucked the life out of me. What is left behind is a shell. Once in a while I try to be happy by participating in many school activities. Guitar, Squash inter-house competition, drama...yesterday I was quite happy actually. I met up with Koko and Shao Rong and played Squash at school. :)

But today, ever since I woke up I have been feeling useless and grumpy. Is it pms? Or am I just beginning to make sense of things?

Yes, I have a clique to hang out with at school. We eat together etc. But...when I need them at home, there's not a single person I can call. :) At first I thought I could call Shamira but she is closer to the others. Whatever. If I'm destined to not have a new best friend in JJc, fine, so be it. Not destined to ever love again? So be it. No guy best friend in JJ? SO be it. I would like to say "My secondary school bestie's will always be there for me". But now I even doubt that. :)

Pathetic little Jaslin. Not good at anything. Got 17 for O levels. What a loser. Keeps auditioning for singing competitions and never makes it in. So obese that she can't even fit into nice clothes. Never once passed her NAFA. So ugly that no guy will ever like her. Sucks at guitar and is in guitar club. I dunno if people think this of me. But i definitely think this of myself. Ok, getting too negative here. Shall click on the Happiness app once again. Here's what it says:

" Always work on improving yourself".

Omg, it read my mind. T.T scary...

Kay. Thing to achieve before I turn 18.

1) Improve body image. Aka : Lose weight, get nicer clothes etc.

2) Work on self confidence. (dunno how -.-)

3) improve at Guitar (otherwise quit in September)

4) top the class at Common tests

I better get to work then, at number 4. :) Met Cheryl at JP just now. Her older sister was in NJC. Cheryl passed me her sister's JC notes and guide books. Awesome :)

Othello, ACJC Funorama & the Hunger Games

So here's the cool part, my drama coach is Ebi Shankar! The winner of Vasantham Star 2007! He is an awesome actor! He works for Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts and he gave the drama peeps tickets to watch him perform Othello at NAFA last friday night! The play was awesome! :) Then yesterday, I went to the ACJC Funorama to support Brielle! :) I went with Judy <3 Ran into quite a lot of Fuhua and JJC people! :)

List of poeple I saw there: Brielle, Jason, Yuki, Ying Lian, Linnah, Felicia, Chun Hao, Vanessa, Stephanie and Kang Jing and another Senior from guitar that I forgot the name of! *paiseh*

After the Funorama, I went to West Mall to meet up with some of my classmates to watch the Hunger Games together! One word sums up the movie pretty well : AWESOME! I went with Jessica, Maalika, Maziyah, Shamira and Zhi Qi!

Now I can't wait to read the Hunger Games trilogy!!

March Holidays!

Yay! Can rest and slack a bit during the March hols. Managed to meet up with Brielle, Ru, Chin and Wan Ling after very long. :) I missed my OG outing though, as it was during the night and my mom doesn't like it when I am out at night :( Darn it!

I have a lot of Chemistry homework man, it's not even funny >< Our chemistry department is mad >< Had drama practice today. The 4 main actors didn't come so it was quite a failed rehearsal :X Had lunch with Wendy, Fuxuan and Li Min after drama and did homework with Wen Qiao after that at the Mac near school :)

New timetable

The new timetable for next week is out! Monday school ends at 5.30pm! Gah D: And I have PE from 4.30 to 5.30pm o.O AWESOME. Oh wells, all the moaning and complaining in the world won't change facts right? :(
There was Guitar Ensemble trials today. I fumbled too much. I think I won't get in :( Sad life ttm :( If I don't join Guitar, I don't know what to join. Interact club? Library? Choir? Back to debate? Or back to Student Council? ><
My mom just called my grandma who's in Bangladesh. They're trying to find someone to get me married to. WTF. Don't know whether to laugh or cry. I will only marry out of love thank you very much. :) ANYWAYS, met nice people in my OG. Wei Ting, Aisha, Jessica, Zaheera, Corrina, Wei Qing, Xiao Tian, Tiha, Theng Chew, Alissa, Ben...the list goes on :) UNFORTUNATELY, we are no longer going to be in our OGs. We have been split into our civics classes. NO :( Now I have to make friends all over again! :( Seriously?

I have Bangla school tmr so I have to wake up early. Better go to bed. Nights :)

JJC orientation

JJC orientation was awesome!! ^^ I don't regret Coming to JJC anymore. The OGLs were awesome. Even though, they had lost their voices after all the shouting, they continued to cheer loudly to ensure that our spirits were high! :) Anyways, my subject combination is H2 Maths, H2 Chem, H2 Physics and H1 Lit! <3 I like my combi!
Had our first lectures today :) GP scared the shit out of me. Pardon my language. The topics are really hard and my O level A1 for English may not save me ><
I have started a GP scrapbook :) Hope it helps! Anyways, I think I should go shower now. My body is itching >< Blog more some other time! Toodles~

East Coast Park trip

Went to East Coast Park yesterday with the family! Brielle, Wan Ling, Meng Yang and Wang Ru were present. Unfortunately, Wei Chin was unable to make it. He had to attend his Aunt's wake :(( Sad ttm. She was so young. :( And Darren didn't go because he was lazy. That's what he said, I'm not judging him. But he hasn't hung out with us for so long. He should take the initiative already.
On the brighter side, cycling was fun! Thanks to Brielle for tolerating my screams when we were cycling. We had to use the two-seater bikes since I couldn't cycle. Wan Ling neither, so Meng Yang partnered her. Wang Ru soloed. If Wei Chin came, Wan Ling could've partnered Wei Chin to ensure that the couple (Meng Yang and Wang Ru) could be together :D Anyways, although cycling was fun, it gave me butt cramp. Haha xD Aching in progress. Talked about life with Brielle and Wan Ling. That was nice too. :) And ate a lot of snacks. >< Must watch my weight :(
Probably meeting up with Wendy in the morning and Wan Ling in the afternoon tomorrow :) Besties <3

I Phone 4S

I am addicted to my iphone 4S! :)