Just...in time

What happens when you're too excited to sleep? Just chatting with him makes me so happy. Talking about the new guy, not the old one! :) He came into my life outta nowhere and is gonna disappear again soon :(
I just can't get enough of him...

Life and it's downs

Recently, one of my best friend's broke up. :( I felt really sad for her and at the same time, it reminded me of HIM. So, I called Brielle, hoping it would cheer me up but hearing Brielle's voice made me want to cry more. So inevitably, the tears started to stream down my cheeks. And after a while I couldn't keep it silent. Noises were escaping from my mouth. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Brielle just laughed at me xD Haha!

Eventually it's all a lie...

And after that I stupidly went to text him all my feelings. -.- Here's what I said:

_______'s story made it all come back. I cried for her and also for myself. Well, my pretending to get over you succeeded for a while. :) But I guess to be honest I am still in love with you. First love and all. Can't even look at other guys. Sigh. Like I signed a pledge of loyalty to you or something. The scary feeling is that I might never fall in love with anyone again until many years later. x.X Tomorrow I am going to wake up and pretend that I am over you again. And this cycle is going to repeat for many years to come....nights GWICGO! (guy whom I can't get over) 

Okay, I gotta admit that the last line was cheesy. But when you're emotional your brain doesn't function well does it??

Anyways, today was the Drama showcase for the school. They were awesome :) So proud of them. The drama people were awesome! WE NEED A FREAKING DRAMA CLUB! >< I feel like quitting guitar anyway. I feel like a freeloader and have zero confidence in my guitar skills. :(

Anyways, kinda having problems accepting that I can't be any closer to ____. Not the person I sent the text to. Someone else. He's totally my type but we couldn't get close. Hmph. Life sucks sometimes. Anyways he is leaving us in June.
My mom is nagging at me to go and shower. Bye!

I am back fast eh? :D Just wanted to say that I finished reading the entire Hunger Games trilogy thanks to Jessica! She lent me all the books! <3 Peeta and Katniss forever!! <3
Oh, and Pottermore is out. I am in Slytherin! Hell yeah! And my wand is made of sycamore wood with unicorn hair core. Awesome <3 I know why I am in Slytherin. Not cause I am mean or evil but because I am ambitious and CAN BE manipulative. But I don't think I will manipulate people for no reason but if I have a reason I think i have the ability to do so. Somehow.
Chem results were shown on the projector screen for the whole lecture hall to see. Our class didn't do well. We weren't among the Top 10 classes for the Chem test. :( And no one in our class got 27-30, 30 being full marks. So basically we aren't working hard enough. I got 20/30 only. But being a Slytherin, that really hurt my ego. I want my name up there. I am gonna work hard for chem. Oh and Physics lecture test is next Monday. It's out of 75 T.T and there can be negative scores so that one I gotta work hard for too. And this sat I have mother tongue common test and I don't have time to study cause of drama. Kill me pls :(

Getting Emo Again :(

I have two Apps in my iPhone, one called Happiness and one called Inspiration. Since I lack both, I shall go and click on them. But before being happy and inspired I need to first know how to be content. So I Googled this "How to Be Content". This is what  got: 


 In Philippians 4:11, Paul said, "I have learned in whatsoever state I am in therewith to be content." The Amplified Bible describes being content as "satisfied to the point where you are not disturbed or disquieted". It doesn't say satisfied to the point where you don't want change, but satisfied for now until God brings the change. Philippians 4:6-7 sheds more light in this area by saying, "Have no anxiety about anything, but in all things by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, continue to let God know what you want", and verse 7 "the peace that passes understanding shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". Allow me to paraphrase these scriptures in my language for you. Don't be upset about anything, no matter what is happening. Pray about it, and tell God your need. While you are waiting for God to move, be a very thankful and grateful person for all that God has done for you already. (Note: Let me say here that if God never did one thing for us except write our names in the Lamb's Book of Life, that alone is more than enough.)

That was quite a nice way of putting things into perspective. :) Depend on God cause God knows what I need. Not what I want but what I NEED. 

Now the happiness one. Clicked on it and this is what I got:

"Always say yes when someone asks you to dance" Haha! That's awesome advice! I think the point of this is to tell me to say yes to new opportunities and not to shy away from them. Okay, point taken :)

Now the Inspiration one: *clicks*

"We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once." 

Omg, how true!! For example. I gotta do my Math tutorial at once :D I woke up early just to do it but I am ashamed to say that I havent done it yet >< 

Now that I feel better and can tackle the LONG day ahead of me, (I have drama practice till 7.15pm) I shall post some updates on my life.

I almost died during PE yesterday. My friends forced me to run 3 rounds without stopping. The pain made me almost cry. T.T Wth~ I am such a baby :( 

Then GP lesson was fun cause Mr Shermann (awesomest GP teacher ever) let us watch a movie related to Human Rights : The Island. The suspense was just too much! Such a cool movie! I can't wait to finish watching it. We only watched half way. 

Mr Shermann said he liked my Intro for the Formative Assignment essay and was looking forward to the rest of the essay. Le me over the moon ^^

We got our Lit novels imported from overseas!! <3 The Duchess of Malfi and The Remains of the Day. Le me over the moon again ^^  Love the smell and feel of new books! Can't wait to start reading The Remains of The Day!

Drama practice was tiring as usual. We had to REPAINT the set >< Got paint on my skirt and body. Ew!! Sang songs with Nurul, Fatin, Steph and Mei Ling...and Justin at one point I guess o.O 

Drama is full of awesome people I swear :D Oh wells, gotta go and do math now. Will blog again soon :) Although nobody reads my blog -.-

Is Life Even Worth Living?

"Is life even worth living?"

People usually only ask this question when they're suicidal. Well, I'm not cause I need to take care of my mom. But...other than that, I don't see the point in living. I have this iPhone app called Happiness. I'm glad I downloaded it cause when I am at an all time low, it tells me things to cheer me up. I shall go and click on it now. This is what it says:

"Smile and laugh more often. It will preserve your youthfulness and keep the wrinkles away."

Good advice but I gotta ask myself...smile at what? Smile at who?

Everytime my mom opens her mouth, I get pissed off. I have been raging at her the whole day when it's not even her fault. It's not her fault that I feel pathetic. That I have no friends. That people outside don't care about me. SHE does and yet I give HER trouble. I give her the cold treatment. I vent my frustrations on my poor and innocent mom. What for?

My youthfulness was gone a long time ago. Gone with the wind. My dad's misbehavior and my love not being reciprocated in secondary school sucked the life out of me. What is left behind is a shell. Once in a while I try to be happy by participating in many school activities. Guitar, Squash inter-house competition, drama...yesterday I was quite happy actually. I met up with Koko and Shao Rong and played Squash at school. :)

But today, ever since I woke up I have been feeling useless and grumpy. Is it pms? Or am I just beginning to make sense of things?

Yes, I have a clique to hang out with at school. We eat together etc. But...when I need them at home, there's not a single person I can call. :) At first I thought I could call Shamira but she is closer to the others. Whatever. If I'm destined to not have a new best friend in JJc, fine, so be it. Not destined to ever love again? So be it. No guy best friend in JJ? SO be it. I would like to say "My secondary school bestie's will always be there for me". But now I even doubt that. :)

Pathetic little Jaslin. Not good at anything. Got 17 for O levels. What a loser. Keeps auditioning for singing competitions and never makes it in. So obese that she can't even fit into nice clothes. Never once passed her NAFA. So ugly that no guy will ever like her. Sucks at guitar and is in guitar club. I dunno if people think this of me. But i definitely think this of myself. Ok, getting too negative here. Shall click on the Happiness app once again. Here's what it says:

" Always work on improving yourself".

Omg, it read my mind. T.T scary...

Kay. Thing to achieve before I turn 18.

1) Improve body image. Aka : Lose weight, get nicer clothes etc.

2) Work on self confidence. (dunno how -.-)

3) improve at Guitar (otherwise quit in September)

4) top the class at Common tests

I better get to work then, at number 4. :) Met Cheryl at JP just now. Her older sister was in NJC. Cheryl passed me her sister's JC notes and guide books. Awesome :)

Othello, ACJC Funorama & the Hunger Games

So here's the cool part, my drama coach is Ebi Shankar! The winner of Vasantham Star 2007! He is an awesome actor! He works for Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts and he gave the drama peeps tickets to watch him perform Othello at NAFA last friday night! The play was awesome! :) Then yesterday, I went to the ACJC Funorama to support Brielle! :) I went with Judy <3 Ran into quite a lot of Fuhua and JJC people! :)

List of poeple I saw there: Brielle, Jason, Yuki, Ying Lian, Linnah, Felicia, Chun Hao, Vanessa, Stephanie and Kang Jing and another Senior from guitar that I forgot the name of! *paiseh*

After the Funorama, I went to West Mall to meet up with some of my classmates to watch the Hunger Games together! One word sums up the movie pretty well : AWESOME! I went with Jessica, Maalika, Maziyah, Shamira and Zhi Qi!

Now I can't wait to read the Hunger Games trilogy!!

March Holidays!

Yay! Can rest and slack a bit during the March hols. Managed to meet up with Brielle, Ru, Chin and Wan Ling after very long. :) I missed my OG outing though, as it was during the night and my mom doesn't like it when I am out at night :( Darn it!

I have a lot of Chemistry homework man, it's not even funny >< Our chemistry department is mad >< Had drama practice today. The 4 main actors didn't come so it was quite a failed rehearsal :X Had lunch with Wendy, Fuxuan and Li Min after drama and did homework with Wen Qiao after that at the Mac near school :)